Why get Married? – The Convo

Lately I have been challenged by the question, “why get married?” You may ask why would that question be  a challenge? Is it every woman’s dream to be married? Is it not true, that every woman can share a story of being girls daydreaming about their wedding day?  First, I would have to say, I am not sure that every woman dreamed about getting married. Second, I have to say that those women that daydreamed about their wedding day most likely did not daydream about the marriage. When I was younger, I  never dreamed  about my wedding day. As a young adult my hormones took over and sex became one main reason to get married.  But even then I understood that marriage needed more then a physical attraction to last. Recently when I think about getting married, it is not about what I was taught as young girl, or what I desired as young lady. My thoughts today, are on the true meaning of marriage and why people want to do it. Why all around the world marriage is the ultimate honorable way to show ones love for another? What makes it so special even in today’s society where it seems we can do everything married couples do, by using different contracts, living with each other, etc.?

So that brings me back to the million dollar question. Why get married?  Join me in my journey to finding out my answer. Let’s start the conversation with your thoughts on marriage. Why did you do it? Or why do you want to do it? If you are not considering doing it at all, I want to know that too.

Oh, by the way in my research today I came across this site TOGETHER A P A R T  and found that they have had the conversation to answer Why get married? I instantly requested the video to see what was said.

2 Comments on Why get Married? – The Convo

  1. Wow, why did I get married? What a question! Well, ever since I could remember my mother use to tell me that she expected all her daughters to get married. She always said becareful what you portray or give to men too early because that can turn them off to marriage. She was highly disappointed when I moved in with my boyfriend. I remember her saying that I should expect marriage since his getting everything for free. When I think about it I’m not sure I dreamed about getting married or even thought about the wedding day. I know I dreamed of travelling, moving away from home being free from rules, I dreamed of a career, I even dreamed of chilldren, but I never dreamed of the husband. I’m not sure if I evewr wanted to get married. So, why did I get married? Well, I fell in love with him and the idea. I wanted the world to know I belonged to him and he belonged to me. Legally, I wanted the right to make deicisions for him if he was unable to. I wanted the right to be his unconditional emergency contact. I wanted to be responsible for him with no one having the right to override what I thought was best for him. Personally, I wanted the absolute guarantee that he knew I was all in and I needed to know that he was all in. Living with him without marriage I always knew that I could walk away no mess, no stress, nothing to answer to (except maybe a broken heart). However, knowing that I will hold my vows to heart. Spiritually, I not only made a promise to him, I made a promise to God in front of everyone I love and he loves. You can break a promise to everyone but not God. The wedding day was beautiful and that was the easy part. The marriage is HARD. There are great days when I am just as in love as the day I said i do. Then there are those days that I’m exasperated, frustrated, annoyed, suffocated, confused, lonnging, and lonely. I feel as if there is no one that would understand these feelings. On those days, I struggle to remember all the good things and pray that i can push past these emotions and embrace my marriage and my vows again. Why did I get married? Maybe its because, I was told to, maybe its because of love, maybe its because of him, maybe it was meant to be. I’m not sure but I made a vow that I am going to keep it.

    • Thanks D, I know I can count on you to start the conversation. What I get from your comment is two things.

      One, people really don’t take the time to think about why they want to get married. It is just an expected part of our society that is not normally challenged. I wonder how many divorces would have been prevented if people would take the time to think about it.

      Second, when you said, “Personally, I wanted the absolute guarantee that he knew I was all in and I needed to know that he was all in.” I instantly thought getting married is not just a contract that provides certain securities; any contract can provide a source of security. But a contract for marriage provides a promise that two people make to each other that they will forever be that safe haven for that person. Someone they can rely on, in other words it provides a bond and connection.

      Thanks for sharing your true thoughts, very interesting.

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