I am not sure if Kenya Moore from Real Housewives of Atlanta is a great actress or if she really needs a reality check about her relationship with Walter Jackson. What I am sure of, act or no act; she is looking more and more like a real desperate want to be wife of Atlanta. The image does not go well with her miss independent, business savvy, icon image that she try to uphold in front of the other ladies of #RHOA.
After seeing the last episode, I was in awe. What didn’t she understand from the last conversation her and Walter had at the coffee shop? He summed up their relationship by saying, he loves her but… he is not so in love with her to marry her. She seemed hurt, but not confused as she told him that she heard all she needed to hear. So when she invites him to go fishing in hopes to “reconnect” with a man who does not seem like he was ever connected; well I just could not stop myself. Give me a pen and paper I need to have a girl talk with my girls.
Granted we don’t have the whole story of Kenya and Walter. We don’t know what was said off camera between the two, before and after their appearance on #RHOA. We don’t know if it is just a ploy for drama TV or the real thing. What ever it is, I could not let Kenya’s public humiliation go to waste. Instead I wish to use this opportunity to share some food for thought.
Too often a women’s need to be married is greater than the need to be married to the right guy. Their need to be in love is so great that they will love and give themselves to someone who is not able to love them back. In other words some women settle for fake relationships. They hear what they want to hear and proceed with a relationship that is not worth their time, body or soul. When it is over, it is usually after the man has made the decision he is bored like a cat playing with a dead mouse. Without the chase there is no fun and he soon looks for a livelier mouse to play with. Leaving the woman hurt, embarrassed and deep down with-in disappointed for not adhering to the signs.
My heart goes out to those who are looking for the right one to love. I know too many women who are waiting for the right man, settling for the wrong man or like Kenya, in disbelief that the man they want does not want them back.
Being alone a long time can eventually get the strongest, independent woman, into one of those categories, I know. I remember being younger and if a guy look like he was lying it was over. As I got older, and the desire to be in a relationship got stronger, I got a little more tolerant. Leaving me vulnerable to false hope that when he said he loved me, it was real. Whatever came after the, but… was the red flag, I ignored.
So as much as I want to say, “What the hell is wrong with Kenya?” I get it. Sometimes our judgment can be overwhelmed with anxiety to get to the next level in our lives. We look at time, which waits on no one and get scared that our desire to be a wife or mother won’t be filled. The problem with that is when a guy says hi, we start attaching his last name to our first name, seeing if it sounds good together. We get so involved in a process of falling in love, getting married and having children; like it is a list of accomplishments that need to be done by a certain age. We forget the process of healthy relationships that evolves on its own time and develops into great opportunities. So we miss out on getting to know the person because we are caught up in our process of doing what the world says we should be doing.
I like to encourage Kenya and ladies alike, to live your life not with anxiety of what’s next. Instead be content with what you are blessed with now. That can be easier said than done sometimes, especially with outside influences. When I follow the “content rule”, I feel more satisfied and at peace then when I am trying to figure things out and make things happen. When things are right with the right person, things just flow. You don’t have to force it, I know.
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LadyI @ AKA MISSI