35 years on this planet and my mother instincts never kicked in. You know the ones that supposed to make every woman feel like she wants children more than anything else in this world. The desire is so bad that she has at least three plans for the dream to come true. When falling in-love with the right man does not work then plan B kicks in and she have a talk with that guy friend who has not found his Mrs. Right. If for some reason he is not available to make babies plan C is always a sperm bank.
I often thought to myself, is there something wrong with me that I don’t crave the little patter on the floor the diaper changes and the soft crest of a baby while laying on your chest? I know that this lack of desire has stopped me from having children with undesirable men, I am grateful for that. However I thought by now I would be more geared up and ready for the experience, especially when I found someone special to have the experience with.
Motherhood is scary and I wonder how do women rush into such responsibility? Don’t misunderstand me I smile thinking about starting a family with the man I love. However like anything of importance in my life I feel nervousness and a little worry about everything that could or would happen. That feeling takes over that warm feeling women say they have called motherly instincts.