Many women take claim to the title, “feminist.” Some have the right, due to their actions which have afforded equal opportunities for the supposed “weaker sex.” However, the title is becoming more and more popular among this generation and I am reluctant to wave a feminist flag. I have been in a few conversations that triggered the question, where I stand when it comes to the feminist movement.
It started with a conversation I had with this guy who said chivalry should be dead, “because of our miss independent movement we claimed,” he said. I did not total agree with him, I know that we can open doors, pull out our own chairs, and no I don’t need someone to protect me while walking down the street, but it’s always nice to have those things done for you. Does it mean that I am less of a feminist because I like a little chivalry in my relationships? Maybe.
Then there’s the debate on taking the man’s last name in a marriage. For me it is pretty simple, I never had a problem with the thought of taking the man’s last name. I don’t want to hyphenated it and I don’t need my children to have a combination of the two. However, several women in my world indicated that accepting their husbands last name was a challenge for them. I know these women also feel that the greatest honor their husbands gave them was a proposal of marriage and to want them to share their last name. So I could not help but to think, that if it is an honor for a man to do that, then the greatest honor a women could give in return is accepting the proposal and the man’s last name. I guess that’s not such a feminist thing to say.
To add icing on the cake, my boyfriend sent me an article about the women who took a challenge to make 300 sandwiches for an engagement ring. He titled the email, “I want 300 carrot cakes!” I thought his email was funny, and I enjoyed reading about the Midwest girl; who moved to New York, made one sandwich for her boyfriend, who then told her she’s only “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.” I follow her on twitter now, her sandwiches look great! I wouldn’t mind trying to make a few for my boyfriend. With over a thousand followers, “300 Sandwiches” is becoming popular amongst foodies, however there’s a few feminist who feel like the blogger took the “movement” back to the 50’s with her zeal to get in the kitchen for an engagement ring. I disagree, I saw a women who loved the response she received from doing a simple gesture for her man and turned his reaction into a creative blog. I saw a business women, and anyone who read the about page to “300 Sandwiches” would know her boyfriend does most of the cooking, and she’s doing something that she enjoys. So, with that said, I guess I am three for three, with reasons why I am not such a feminist.
The bottom line is, those women who went to work for the first time to support their families because their husbands were at war, had a huge impact on equality for women. Women continue to work in powerful positions and show that they are an asset to our society; and more than just nurtures. However, just because we are more than nurtures does not take away from our need to nurture. It is okay that we want to nurture the ones we love, even if that means finding ourselves in the kitchen “300” times in a year. We should not feel condemned for taken on the last name of our husbands or feel like we lost the movement because our husbands and boyfriends pull out the chair for us.
The feminist movement did one thing, that is often forgotten during debates, it gave women choices. Nope, I don’t feel like I have the right to wave a feminist flag, but I am aware of the power the feminist movement gave me and other women, to have choice. If women want to work on the front-lines in war, or they prefer to stay home and raise their children, the option is there, and I appreciate that. I just hope, feminist or not, collectively we learn to respect each others choice.