An article titled, “What to Do When Your Fiance’s Baby Mama Wants to Attend Your Wedding” got my attention. Being a newly wed myself, I know how stressful it can be to try to plan the perfect day for you and your love ones. You have to think about so many details, colors, location, money, etiquette etc. And although you’re not a professional and may not be able to afford one, the responsibility to get everything just right becomes an expected overwhelming task. So I could not imagine how it would feel to have the added pressure of ex’s and baby mama drama.
After reading the writer’s question and Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s advice, I was ready to move on. The writer did not go into much details, just that her fiance’s ex, the mother of his child request an invitation to their wedding. Demetria made some good points, although “There’s no “right” answer here,” she said. She talked about the child’s needs, etiquette, among other things. I read the article thinking, yeah, I guess that would work. However, as I began to read the comments of other readers, I began to really think about how I would handle a situation like this and of course I had to give my two-cents.
I would have to respond by telling my fiancé to tell his ex that she is not invited, period. Why? Because I am not comfortable. The way I see it, if we don’t have that kind of relationship before I start making plans for my wedding we are not going to develop that relationship during my wedding.
People keep talking about the child. The concern is that the child’s mother not being at the wedding will affect the child in a negative way. However, if the three adults involved in raising this child never came together to be friends, family or at the least communicating co-parents prior to this big event, the possibility that the child has heard or seen some negative actions already are very possible. This important event is not the time to show the child that you like each other and that you can get along. Children are not stupid and they should receive the facts in a language that they can understand.
What’s Your Response?